The Sartorial Senator

The New Adventures of Old McCain

Senator John McCain has been facing some pretty tough criticism about his age lately.  If elected, McCain would be the oldest first term President ever.  The problem isn't that McCain has shown any signs of ill-health or deterioration; The problem is that Americans don't like old people all that much.  Sure, we can handle seeing them around the holidays, but do we really want a Presidential motorcade going only 25 miles per hour with its signal on the whole time?  Is America ready for State Dinners to be moved to 4:30?  I think not.

I get that McCain is going for the youthful look by sporting the leather.  But, frankly, the members only jacket and sweater-vest just makes him look like he's running late for the early bird special at Hometown Buffet.  Perhaps McCain is trying to become the Greaser to Mitt Romney's Socs. 

If McCain is serious about winning the GOP nomination, I suggest he put on a suit, avoid shaking old people's hands, and take the advice of fellow AARP member Bob Dole and not fall off any stages.

In a somewhat related note, even though she is younger than her husband, does anyone else think that Cindy McCain looks like Blanche Deveraux?

Occupation: Presidential Candidate; Grading Presidential Myspace Pages

Ever dreamed of becoming a part of Dennis Kucinich's posse?  That dream may just be within reach now that ten of the '08 presidential candidates have Myspace pages.  Each candidate is looking their casual best in an attempt to court the coveted 18-24 "too much time on their hands" demographic. 

So how do the Myspace pages stack up?  Kucinich gets points for a page layout that is easy on the eyes and technologically advanced.  But he loses points for only having 635 friends.  Come on Dennis, Balki Bartokomous has 999 friends and he's fictional.  Candidate Ron Paul clocks in with the least number of friends with a paltry 259.  Barack Obama wins the friend race with a whopping 64,000. 

But it's not all about numbers.  Duncan Hunter gets extra points for being in my "extended network" (must be the San Diego connection).  In terms of comments someone named "Boogey" assures Senator Obama that "I'm getting Barack Obama tatted on my forehead."  John Edwards gets a big hug from someone named "aoxamaxoa".  But the best comment comes on McCain's page where someone inexplicably named Nina says,  "It's Yo Girl Maria Droppin Some Love."  I wonder if Senator McCain will drop some love back.

Mitt Romney loses points for having a mind blowing 87 pictures of himself on his page-- Conceited anyone?   Hillary and Biden both get  zero points for having thoroughly uninteresting pages.

The big winner here for best Myspace page is Rudy Giuliani who has decided that his best campaign strategy is to set his profile to "private" so only his friends can view it.  That is just the sort of elitist "with me or against me" type of attitude we need in the White House.  Maybe Guiliani was just getting tired of the comments from sexual predators just looking for a good time.  Either way, Congrats Rudy!  Your hard-to-get attitude has earned you top honors.

Latin America Roundup (cont.)

This is getting ridiculous....I don't think we need to even caption this one.

Latin America Roundup

A few more photos that caught the eye of the Sartorial Senator from President George Bush's tour-de-force of Latin America.  I have long wondered where Cosby got all those sweaters during the 1980's, and the answer, as I found out, is Guatemala.  Interesting thing is, since the passage of NAFTA, the Guatemalans have gotten much more demanding and now insist upon only the finest heads of American lettuce in trade.   (Sorry Cosby, no more Pudding Cups).  This would explain Bush's carting of lettuce amongst his fellow Mayan's.  (Shout out to my Mayan peeps of the Guatamalan highlands...the Kiche, Mam, Poqomam, Kaqchikel, Ixil, Q'egchi, Tz'utujil and Jakaltek.)  While he lugged crate after crate with his new friends in their finest Sunday sweaters from Wal-Mart, Bush touted the virtues of free trade and his compassion for the human condition in Latin America.  If any of you dare suggest that this was a staged photo-op I will slap you.  P.s.  If you doubt me, check it out yourself, the Walton family is spreading their love in Guatemala now. 

In other news Bush looks like he has fallen off the wagon again.   I don't know what else there is to say about this.    All in all, looks like things have not gone this well since "Mana En Vivo" tour of '94.   

Casual Fridays: Part II

Senator Edwards has been hitting the campaign trail pretty hard this week apologizing for his Iraq war authorization vote and raising "Coulter Cash".  Edwards seems to be taking a cue from our neighbors down south and going for a more casual look.  I get that Edwards is hitting the "son of a mill worker" man of the people routine.  But I think he may be pushing the populist angle a little too far.  John, like you said, there are two Americas.  There's the "suit" America and the "denim" America.  And if you're a millionaire ex-personal injury lawyer running for President...you're squarely in the suit wearing half of the country.

Prosecutorial Distraction

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, pictured right serenading the White House Press Corp to an A Cappella version of "Kissed By a Rose", has gotten himself into some hot water with the firing of eight US Attorneys.  Whats the big deal if these appointments are at the discretion of the Executive?  Well, it doesn't help matters that Gonzales stated in January that he, "would never, ever make a change in a United States attorney for political reasons."  It also doesn't help that Gonzales has seemingly lied about the political motivations for the firings.  I think we have to give Alberto "I love the Geneva Convention" Gonzales some credit here.  Almost Supreme Court Justice, Harriet Miers wanted to fire all 93 US Prosecutors.  It would seem then that Gonzales was showing remarkable restraint by only firing eight.  Many have called for his resignation, or firing.  But the White House has been clear that they will not fire people simply based on Political interests....anymore.  For his part, Gonzales has since admitted that "mistakes were made".  Memo to the Bush administration:  Enough with this "mistakes were made" crap.   An apology in the passive voice does not count as an apology.  Try this on for size:  I MADE A MISTAKE!

Caution: Baby on Board?

Alright....my colleague has already posted similar pictures of Bush in a construction helmet but this one is clearly the best.  If you are like me, and I am pretty sure most of you are, you continue to look for evidence of the President's continued use of recreational drugs.  At the very least this would explain most of his cavalier behavior for the last 6 years, see symptoms of PCP use.  Well if you had any doubt, here is the ironclad proof we have all been looking for.  Apparently, amidst receiving his glowing reception from all of Latin America, President Bush took the time to turn in his court-mandated drug test.  I don't know how he got it in the beaker, but apparently the old man is satisfied. If the urine sample is not for drug testing, I fear that it may have only one other plausible explanation.  That would explain why he is wearing his helmet again...

Obey Your Master

Last week Democratic Wisconsin Representative David Obey made news with an ugly exchange caught on tape with members of his own party.  When confronted on the issue of troop funding in Iraq he referred to his inquisitors as "idiot liberals" and suggested they were "smoking something illegal."  Way to play to the base Dave!
At least Obey has been consistent on his denouncement of the war.  And he blames the recent outburst on shared frustrations over our current quagmire in Iraq.  Nonetheless, when you start calling your constituents names it's a pretty good sign of slightly elevated stress levels.  It's about time David Obey opt for a Tommy Bahama shirt and Speedo because the man is in need of serious vacation.  Or perhaps he should take his own advice and relax with a nice baggy of "something illegal"

Bring Your President to Work Day

I was hoping our blog could steer away from Bush for a while, but every time I open up the newspaper it seems that he is doing a job other than his own.  First he was cavorting with George Washington and Ghengis Kahn, then he was in a lab coat conducting some mad scientist experiments, now we see him in a hard-hat doing some kind of construction work.  All of this is lending credence to the theory that Bush is quantum leaping from body to body, just trying to find his way home.  Whats next... Bush joins a mariachi band?  Perhaps W is just trying to nail down some post-presidential employment.  I once thought Bush would make a fine baseball commissioner when Bud Selig retires, but now I shutter to think how many Padres will end up on the DL if every batter hitting under .250 is sent to Fallujah.  Maybe the hard-hat wasn't such a bad call considering the hordes of angry protesters following Bush throughout South America.   

Konichiwa White House!

The New York Times recently ran an article on Hillary Clinton's reshaping of her image for the 2008 election season.   It covers the development of her character through her time as First Lady, including the "wronged woman" persona of the Monica Lewinsky scandal, her New York Senatorial campaign, and her recent politico makeover for her Presidential run, which is being dubbed "nurturing warrior."  The article is a decent read, which is why I have included a link.  In case you are too lazy to read the full article, let me give you a brief synopsis. The key to the '08 election is, drum roll please.... Asian cheerleaders.  I know, I know, brilliant.  At first I was skeptical.  What do Asian cheerleaders bring to the table?  But that Hillary is a master politician and deft strategist.  Looks like this one is in the bag.  If you don't believe me, just Google "Asian Cheerleaders" and see how many links come up.  In case you want the full read, Hillary Shapes Her Image for '08 Run.